I’m the type of person that needs a set schedule or I won’t do anything (like today for example where I just sat in bed and stared at my computer.) So in lieu of being lazy, I’m writing my schedule today so that tomorrow I don’t beat myself up about it.

630: breakfast (smoothie)

700: go running in the park

900: go to my grandmother’s house; bring workout clothes so I can go to the gym

1000: write my long overdue AP French essay so I don’t fail!

1100: set up my housing code so I can get a dorm in college

1200: paint my toenails

1300: play Just Dance 2

1400: eat lunch

1500: take demonic cousins to the park

1600: TAKE A SHOWER

1700: Straighten hair

I think I’m good for the day.

Due to school and life in general, I haven’t been able to update much (or in fact) anything on my blog. Losing touch with you guys made me completely sad-faced but I kept y’all in mind everytime I got on the scale. So even though I have only lost a couple of pounds. (Right now I’m at 134) My stomach has gone down tremendously AND this is what I looked like at my prom:

What do you think! (Ignore my mother on the side) Not exactly as thin as I wanted it to be but you guys have all taught me that progress is progress no matter how small! So now that it is summer and I am officially a high school graduate (YAY!) I’m dedicating this summer to wellness and myself because lord knows when I have to go to college Im going to be dying up there. Better start my good habits now! I decided to add new features to my blog to make it seem more.. interesting to my readers.

• I’m going to be adding my workout routines.
• Role Model of the Week
• Recipe of the Week
• Fun Food Facts

Also, I feel like I should be getting more involved with my followers. I LOVE YOU GUYS EVEN THOUGH IT MAY HAVE SEEMED LIKE I DESERTED YOU. I PROMISE I DIDNT. TALK TO ME. I PROMISE IM NICE.

So here it goes you guys! Here’s to a summer filled with fun and FITNESS !

When I was a child, I was always relatively “thicker” than most of my friends. Although I was active and played sports such as basketball and dance, I wasn’t the thinnest of the bunch thanks to my lovely relationship with rice and beans. 

I started caring about my weight in the 6th grade when I was 12 years old and 120 lbs. Technically, by BMI standards I was healthy but by my friends standards, I was huge. My eyes would wander to the girl next to me and as I looked at her lunchbox filled to the brim with goodies that any child would adore, I would push away my food  and formulate some excuse that I wasn’t hungry. Suddenly,  my thighs weren’t thighs anymore. They had transformed into these vast gelatinous monstrosities that would jiggle and rub together when I walked or worse, ran. So started my love/hate relationship with food.

As I got older, I grew into myself. My baby fat started to melt and I finally swapped the chocolate chip cookie for a banana. Puberty was doing it’s magic as my stomach shrunk and my boobs grew. Things were pretty much okay.

The summer of my eight grade year, I starting gaining weight again. It wasn’t much and because I danced every day, it wasn’t truly noticeable. I was considered muscular and strong. Although I knew I wasn’t huge, I longed for the daintiness that some of the smaller girls in my class had. Boys seemed to like them, so why couldn’t they like me, too? Was it because I had bigger boobs? Was it because I could easily outrun them in a race? Was it because I was too muscular? I hated that my body was different. To stop gaining muscle, I stopped being active and in turn, everything headed for the worst.

In the beginning of high school, I was a chunky 130 lbs. Living in a neighborhood were most people were “bigger”, I stopped noticing what my stomach looked like. Then when I started going to a school filled with thin asian girls and svelte caucasians, I became self conscious, aware, and so painfully insecure. Ironically, I started to eat and eat and eat. Eventually getting to my heaviest, 164 lbs.

During the summer, I lost all the weight but became so paranoid with gaining weight I would starve myself until I couldn’t take it anymore then binge. My relationship with food became toxic and I found my new best friend, my finger. Everytime I ate I would force myself to vomit because I couldn’t handle the consequences of  gaining more than two ounces.  My fear of being fat was destroying me.

I finally decided it was time to change when I looked in the mirror. I used to be complimented on my bright green eyes daily. Now they were sallowy, sunken in. I could see my bones when I turned. My skin had an odd tint to it. I looked like a corpse version of myself. For once I wasn’t disgusted by how fat I was but how skinny I looked. From then on, I decided to stop hurting myself. I didn’t deserve it. My body didn’t deserve it

It’s been two years and I’m now healthy, a bit “overly” healthy if you will. I love food but most importantly, I love myself.

C’mon body. Don’t let me down now.

Two and half slices of pizza, a chocolate jelly doughnut, some reeses pieces, a polly-o string cheese, some potato salad with shrimp, and rice.

What the hell was wrong with me when I made my food choices, yesterday?

This always happens when I go to my grandmother’s house. Every time I go there my dieting changes from one that is healthy and nutritious to one where whatever I see, I eat.

Luckily, working out has done me some benefit because despite the massive amount of food I ate, I still look relatively flatter than usual.

I’m starting my morning with healthy choices and ending it with even healthier ones. Also, I think I might go jogging today. Despite the freezing weather, I think I need the great outdoors.

I WILL NOT LET THIS SET BACK GET ME DOWN.

FIRST

I’m going to do the metabolism booster.

NEXT

I’m going to do both Level one AND level two of the 30 day Shred.

THEN

I’m taking on the task of 6 week 6 pack.

I’m kind of scared of what I’m about to take on but with Spain being a little less than two months away I have no time to lose!

Now, time for prog blog pictures.